My Decision to adopt

My blog has been long gone. Forgotten, forsaken and severed from all kinds of communication , It has lain all alone on this tiny uninhabited space in the internet for 8 long years now. I have yearned to come back here and write. I have felt guilty for not getting back. Day after day I have just let it waste away. But then just like a long lost friend who welcomes you back unquestioningly with open arms , I knew it would welcome me back if I got in touch again.  So today I just decided to resuscitate my baby back to life and nurse it back to health with this post. Lets see how it goes. 

 Its not everyday that you decide to write a very personal post. A post where you decide to bare yourself to the judgmental eyes of social media and internet.I wanted to write about my decision to adopt a child and here we go..

 Usually, when I open up to my friends about my (our) decision to adopt a child, people want to know why I am doing this.Some are intrigued, some are curious , some are full of awe and few others are terrified to say the least. Then the incessant questions come gushing out.

“How did you ever come up with this idea ? Wont you be partial to your biological son ? Do you think you can love this child ? What if they want to go back to their birth parents? Can’t you try IVF ? How about surrogacy ? Aren’t you worried about your son and how he would feel about this ? Are you doing this because you want people to think that you are better than others? Maybe you both should go to a counselor (Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!)”.

    Deep down inside , I felt like I had to answer all of these questions. Not for anybody else’s sake. But just for myself. Just to understand my true feelings around this matter. 

   So there are several million orphaned / displaced  children in the world and more than 20 million just in India. It’s unfortunate and heart breaking to think that some children are left to fend for themselves in this world without anyone to guide them through life's mazes. For no fault of theirs and for reasons that they can never fathom , these fragile and vulnerable entities of society are forced to endure a life of suffering. These children will most probably never enjoy the loving touch of a parent, never have a permanent home and never ever have a conventional childhood.

   This world is an unfair place I understand. But a child should be allowed to be a child. The beauty , innocence and purity of children are some of the things that make this wretched world not so wretched. But what could I do about this ? Nothing much. I knew I couldn't solve this.Neither can anyone in this world. But can I be of some use to 1 child out there. Hmm. Yes maybe I thought. So that was it. I decided at that moment that I would one day adopt a child. This was way back when I was in college. Fortunately for me my husband went along with my decision. 
  A child out there needs a family and I want another child. So I am going to go find her and adopt her. Also ,believe me , I am not going to try and do anything extraordinary here.I will just be this regular plain Jane mom whom who come across in the mall or notice walking down the street.At times lazy , messy , mean and sulky even. I will love the child and hopefully the child will love me back.  

 The path to adoption and post adoption is fraught with so many hurdles and disappointments. It is not going to be easy. I am aware of it and ready to face it all. Parenting is never easy anyway. Daunting it is. Terrified I am. But then I am taking a leap of faith. The faith that I have on the resilient abilities of children. The faith that I have on my daughter. The invisible thread that unites us both will reveal itself soon. So my dearest daughter wherever you are right now, just hang in there.I am very much looking forward to meeting you. Will continue to wait for you patiently till I can lap you up in my arms and call you mine. Hopefully that day is not far away.See you soon.